Monday, October 27, 2008

MY Motivation

Well, I don’t think it is a secret that I procrastinate. I know the next topic is MY Muse, so in that Blog I’ll get into more creative problems I’m having. But right here, I’m going to try and vent some of the frustrations I have over not being able to get things started or finished. Whether it is physical, emotional, or financial, I just seem to manage to put things off for any number of reasons. I don’t know if it is fear, procrastination, apathy, or something else.

I have putting things off to art form now. Whether it is taking the trash out, sending an E-mail to a friend or possible job, doing my laundry or dishes, and sometimes eating, I can put things off. And with it being winter and running the heat inside now, I have a tendency to doze off and sleep more often than I should. It sucks. When I get too warm, I get sleepy.

No I do believe it is CLASSIC procrastination, and truly only sometimes laziness. Like writing a paper in high school or college, I can find something else to distract me. And sometimes distract me to a furious deadline when things get rushed. Now, don’t get me wrong. I get things done. Sometimes at the last minute, sometimes late, but they DO get done. And I’m told what I do is pretty damn good, even when rushed, but I am trying to do better and take my time, the way it should be.

Now, I greatly appreciate all my friends who keep me going. My friends keep my head up when it falls; keep me moving when I stop; and reassure me when I doubt myself. One element in my life that helps is when I have a Girlfriend. Usually, having a girlfriend makes me smile, reduces my stress, and keeps me more positive. Being single always adds a little extra stress and a lot more reliance on my friends to keep my head up.

Now, I know I can handle things on my own. And I don’t need a parent standing over me telling me what to do. But it always helps when you have a positive voice reassuring you that you are doing the right thing; following the right path; and making correct steps forward. It’s amazing how small, simple words of reassurance can have great affect on making things move forward.

I am trying to get a few things moving in my life. Here are some of the things I’m working on:
- Reduce/Cut Back/Quite Smoking – Yes, I know it is a second attempt, but as of today, Monday, October 27, 2008, I am on 2 full days of not smoking. I’m trying.
- Working out/Exercising/getting in shape – Well, I have been walking my neighborhood. I don’t have the money to join a gym, but in the future I plan on it. Right now, I’ll keep walking and soon I’ll start other exercises at home.
- Cleaning/organizing my house – I have done minor things, but I need to make bigger strides. Not having a job, I should have more time to get more cleaned, and so I’m trying to get off my couch, but it so comfy.
- Getting/finding a job – This is something I have been trying to move on. I organized a freelance list for St. Louis. Now is the task of getting my resumes and cover letters out to all those companies. A few have gone out, but the majority will go out tomorrow afternoon.

Overall, I’m trying to keep my head up. I’m trying to move forward. And any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. So please post your comments. I look forward to hearing from you.

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